i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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