Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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