She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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