Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
