Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Randomize
