he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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