yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
