It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
