You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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