I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
