Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
