At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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