Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Randomize
