I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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