I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize
