worst night to have a conscience
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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