with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Operation Purity has been aborted
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize