im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize