And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
