wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
