I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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