i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
