living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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