Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Randomize
