i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
