i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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