I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
