I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
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