Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Randomize
