the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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