I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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