can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
