so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
