Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
