the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
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