; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
