I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
