oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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