So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
