I can't breathe out the right side of my face
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
