she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
