Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
