is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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