dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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