Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
