Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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