i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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