I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
