I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
