I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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