he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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