just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
