I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
